Horse Chestnut Tree Class

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100wc#4 Poppy

Filed under: Uncategorized — poppyc at 3:26 pm on Friday, October 5, 2012
0

Once a upon a time there lived a glorious, glistened, gloomy  WEEE man who  went to find dinner all a lone in the misty wood. The next day he went to find a friend to play with every day but he was to scared because when his Mum was small she went    to find a friend she got grabbed and that is why he dose not want to do it but he was so brave and he went in there . He went to school but he did not want to because he thort that the other’s  WEEE men might make fun of him because he’s made of out of plastic



4 Comments »

141

   siobhan miller

08/10/2012 @ 11:00   Reply

Hi poppy it siobhan from the 100WC team
really great way to uses alliteration to describe the ”weee man” really imaginative story 🙂 keep up the good work.
from siobhan

129

   Jenna (Team 100WC)

07/10/2012 @ 16:34   Reply

Poppy, what a lovely story, with a lot of detail.
As mentioned with the comment above, some improvement with spelling and using grammar is needed, however I like the content.
Well done Poppy 🙂

81

   mrsgurney

06/10/2012 @ 13:15   Reply

Well done Poppy! Anna is right, great use of alliteration 🙂

64

   Anna

05/10/2012 @ 19:01   Reply

Well Done Poppy,
I love your story, the idea is great, maybe next time you could use some speech, I like the way you used alliteration and wow words when you said ‘glorious, glistening, gloomy’ they are such great words in such a great story. you have missed out a bit of punctuation ate the end of sentences and commas. I like the opening ‘Once upon a time’ yet there is an extra a in between Once and Upon.
Well done!
from Anna
at
http://www.6d2012.highlawnprimary.net

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