Horse Chestnut Tree Class

Come and see what we have been up to!

100wc#4 by Toby

Filed under: Uncategorized — tobyl at 3:39 pm on Friday, October 5, 2012
0

One day someone named Paul Bonomini  decided to shock the world with showing everyone how much electricity e had wasted every year. Before long his great model was finished and he named it the WEEE MAN which stands for waste environment electronic equipment. Then one day he had gone and did not know where he was so he went to find him, he was not at the woods, not at the river and also he was not there either, it was getting very dark and Paul was worried where he was then he found him at the landfill and someone was with him.



3 Comments »

196

   Miss Windsor (Team 100WC)

11/10/2012 @ 06:37   Reply

Hi Toby,

Thank you for taking part in this week’s 100 Word Challenge!

* You have lead your reader through your story with some great openers to your sentences!
* You have kept the reader’s interest by including some facts about WEEE Man
* You have used your imagination superbly!
W: I really want to know what happened next!

Hope to see you next week,

Miss Windsor (Team 100WC)

184

   Ms Breyley

09/10/2012 @ 20:40   Reply

Hello Toby
I think this is a very good idea for a story and makes an interesting use of the picture prompt. The first 2 sentences are very strong and as a story opening the whole piece is good. Next time I think you should try and meet the challenge of doing a complete story with only a 100 words!
Fae
Miss Breyley, Burravoe School, Shetland

160

   Tyla (Team 100WC)

08/10/2012 @ 14:37   Reply

Hi Toby!

Congratulations on this week’s 100WC! I am very impressed that you looked up about the WEEE Man at the Eden Project, have you been there and seen him yourself?

In the second half of your story, i got a little bit confused about who was looking for who, do you think you could use some names or other nouns here?

Well done and keep posting!

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>