Horse Chestnut Tree Class

Come and see what we have been up to!

100wc by Ezra

Filed under: Uncategorized — ezrar at 12:59 pm on Monday, October 15, 2012
0

The temperature dropped suddenly and the power went off!!!”Where’s everyone gone” shouted Tom there was no reply it was silence. Suddenly someone moved Tom looked around he couldn’t see anyone where was everyone gone thought Tom! Eventually Tom decided to go and look for himself. He snatched his gun and quickly grabbed his hard metal helmet. Then he set off he tiptoed along it was about eleven o’clock at night. Suddenly there was a little sound in the leaves Tom stepped closer he looked through the bushes and could not believe what he saw it was a gigantic brown dirty bubble!!! And in the bubble was his mum and dad…



1 Comment »

244

   Ross Mannell

17/10/2012 @ 23:29   Reply

Hello Ezra,

Wow, this seems like one of those weird events you see in science fiction stories. The power is our, the temperature has dropped and people are missing. At least Tom was able to react but you left us with a cliffhanger. Finding his parents in a brown, dirty bubble, we wonder what will happen next.

Cliffhangers are a good technique used by writers intending to continue the story. You build the tension and excitement to a climax point making readers want to see what happens next. Well done!

Remember to check your story before posting. There were some places you might have started a new sentence. I find when I read one of my stories before writing, I can hear where a new sentence should be. We take a slight pause before going on.

I hope you keep entering the 100WC. Perhaps we might read what happened next. 🙂

@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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