Horse Chestnut Tree Class

Come and see what we have been up to!

100 wc by jack #6

Filed under: Uncategorized — jackbo at 5:59 pm on Friday, October 19, 2012
0

ONE DAY TILLY SAW A BIG, BIG THING.

TILLY SAID “WHAT IS THAT?” BUT IT GOT CLOSER AND CLOSER AND TILLY, WHO WAS ONLY 9 ½ HAS SEEN SOMETHING BIG AND ALSO MET ELLIE AND JACK WHO WERE ALSO RUNNING AWAY FROM IT. THEN IT GOT CLEARER, IT WAS A WALKING PAVILION THAT GOBBLED UP PEOPLE! SO THEY WENT THROUGH ITS LEGS AND RAN. ON THE WAY SHE GOT TOLD THAT THEY WERE BOTH 10 AND ¾ AND WERE RUNNING TO JACK’S HOUSE WHEN DISASTER STRUCK, IT WAS 12:00 AND THEY SAW THE PAVILION. BUT IT CAUGHT UP AND IT LOOMED ABOVE THEM….



4 Comments »

427

   maddy

25/10/2012 @ 11:53   Reply

I really liked your story and I really want to know
what happens next!

370

   Miss Westeng (Team 100wc)

23/10/2012 @ 11:10   Reply

Hello Jack,
Well done for writing such an interesting 100 word challenge, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Your style of writing is very effective in adding suspense to the story, I particularly liked ‘when disaster struck’. Keep up the fantastic writing! 🙂

307

   Nadine (Team 100WC)

22/10/2012 @ 12:31   Reply

Hi Jack,
I like how you have used the term “loomed above them”. Very effective in adding to the suspense of the ending. It keeps the reader wanting more. Nice work!
Thanks
Nadine (Team 100WC)

280

   mrsgurney

20/10/2012 @ 18:19   Reply

I like your vocabulary “disaster struck” and your ideas… Well done!
Mrs Gurney

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>